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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

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It’s disgusting that’s what it is. They’re doing it right there in front of your kids. Right in the f*x*ng conjugating classroom, right in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids. It’s worse than miscgenation voting for people from Kenya, it’s worse than man on dog, those dirty f*x*ng hippies are f*x*ng conjugating right there in the f*x*ng conjugating classroom in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids. Ought’nt to be allowed doing it in the conjugating classroom in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids. It’s not adjective I’m verbing you! Adverb is what [possessive determiner] [endearment] and [first person singular] verb that is adverb!

It was lying beside me, [verbing] quietly. I could hear its steady breathing and the soft sounds of its [verbing]. I began to get [adjective], so I turned to it and put my [body part] around it. It looked into my [body part] and [verbed] me with its [body part]. I began to [verb] and to [verb] its [body part] with mine. It moaned and said, “I [emotion] it when you [verb] me like that.”

There was the sound of its [adjective] [body part] rubbing against my [body part] and the slow rhythm of our [verbing] each other. It was [adverbly] [verbing] me and I began to [verb]. I saw its [color] [body part] and grew more and more [emotioned]. I knew I would soon [verb]. My skin [verbed] with excitement, and I felt tiny [nouns] shooting up and down my [body part]. I

said, “Faster, faster my [endearment], I’m going to [verb]! Yes, I’m [Verbing], I’m [VERBING]! [VERB] ME! Oh [endearment], you are the [SUPERLATIVE]! I [emotion] you.”

We lay together in silence, and then got up and ate three entire packets of [nouns].

Source: VERBing Me Softly – B Janice Perry, from In Stitches: Censored Erotica (Indiana University Press, 1991)

Oh gross! You mean they actually PAY dirty f*x*ng hippies to do it with dead languages right there in the f*x*ng conjugating classroom, right there in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids? Save us Jesus Rupert! Thank you Jesus Rupert for f*x*ng F*x N*ws.

markfromireland


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